Azula's Journey, Book One: Self Discovery
by CyrenJ
Summary: Two years after the war new dangers threaten the peace.  Azula finally has the chance to become Fire Lord a claim power.  But when fate sends her down a new path.  Will she still think that power is the only thing that matters once she reaches its end.
1. Chapter 1

Starts two years after the end of the war, as Azula suffers in the asylum.

Nothing in the Avatar world belongs to me. I hope you all enjoy the story, reviews and comments welcome.

**Azula's Journey, Book One: Self Discovery**

**Chapter One – The Escape **

Azula took a deep breath before she extended her right hand and slid out her right foot. She focused on a spot on the far wall, which took the image of the many faces she felt had betrayed her in the past. Her first punch was to her mother who thought her a monster, and her second to her father who feared her so much he left her behind on what was to be his greatest day. More faces followed until she finally saw that of her brother. It was her favorite firebending form because it made her feel powerful, unstoppable, things her brother had taken from her.

"Enjoy your time as Firelord Zuzu, one day I will return to take what father promised me."

She delivered one more ferocious kick and blue flame leapt from her foot and smashed against the stone wall. Strands of black hair fell over her face, as she took a few deep breaths to recover her wind. She turned her head to the sound of the far door opening and sighed dejectedly at the sight of a familiar face.

"Is it that time again already doctor?"

Doctor Zhang came to her cell every day at the same time, but he always stopped in the area between the door and her room. He was there to help her, but even he feared her. She looked at him through the metal bars and in some twisted way his fear was the only good thing about her time in the asylum. It reminded her of the way things were before she was imprisoned there.

"How are you doing today Azula?" He asked with a smile.

"I'm doing fine Dr. Zhang, my time here has really helped me. I think I can finally let go of my anger."

Dr. Zhang stared at her for a moment before he shook his head and began to applaud.

"Amazing," he said with false praise. "If I were meeting you for the first time I would have believed you. You are still an accomplished liar."

"Thank you doctor, I try."

She curled her lips into a smile and stared at him through the blacks strands of hair before she pulled them from her face. She hated the one on one sessions, but she figured if she had to do it, she might as well have fun.

"Practicing again I see," Dr. Zhang observed, as he stared at the burn mark on the far wall which was still smoldering. "It's all you've done every day for the past two years."

"How would you suggest I spend my time here doctor?" She inquired as she looked around her cell. "It's not like I'm lounging on the beach on Ember Island."

"Perhaps it would be better if you were," Dr. Zhang suggested as he stepped closer to the bars. "Then you could reflect upon why you are here."

She quickly thought back upon the string of events that started at Boiling Rock and finally led to her defeat at the hands of her brother and the waterbender Katara.

"I am here doctor because I was not strong enough to defeat my brother and his little friend," she answered angrily before she threw a punch and the air ignited into blue flame at the end of her fist. "I am here doctor because my friends did not fear me enough to stay loyal."

She turned to the doctor and stepped slowly towards the bars, which caused Dr. Zhang to quickly back away.

"Are you afraid of me doctor?"

"No, no I am not Azula."

She knew he was lying, how could he or anyone else not be afraid of her? He saw her as every bit the monster her mother and brother saw her as.

'There are other ways to earn loyalty Azula," he lectured her having gathered himself.

"Like what doctor? Love, friendship, trust," she countered before she began to laugh.

"Yes, those are a few of them," Dr. Zhang answered.

"Please doctor, spare me," she snapped before she began to pace behind the bars. "And I should not have had to earn anything. I was their Princess, the future Fire Lord," she continued as she became increasingly upset. "They owed me their loyalty," she roared before she turned away from the bars.

"So you've learned nothing from your defeat and your time here," he scolded her.

"I've learned many things doctor. My uncle loved and trusted my brother, but my brother betrayed him. I trusted my childhood friends and they betrayed me," she explained.

She stared at the back wall for a few moments before she let out a heavy sigh, turned and looked back at Dr. Zhang.

"See Doctor, that's what love, friendship and trust get you," she quipped before she stepped back towards him. "So tell me doctor, aside from fear of consequence, what other way is there the keep loyalty?"

"You think fear is the only way, but when it came down to it, fear was not enough to keep those who followed you in line was it?"

She thought long and hard on the question, and though the answer pained her, she allowed it to pass her lips.

"No, no it didn't," she conceded.

"So what does that tell you?" Dr. Zhang pressed her.

"That there is no such thing as loyalty or friendship, or love for that matter," she answered, perhaps being honest for the first time in the session. "People will turn on you when it suits their purpose."

Dr. Zhang sighed heavily and shook his head as he stared at her. His look was almost the same as the one her mother used to have.

"You can save your disappointment doctor," she said before she turned her eyes away. "You are not the first to be dissatisfied with how I turned out."

"I am not disappointed in you Azula, I feel sorry for you," he said sincerely.

"You wouldn't be the first there either doctor."

"Are you talking about your parents?"

"Yes, my mother she…she," Azula began to explain.

Her shoulders slouched and her eyes dropped to the floor before she let out a loud sigh. She stared at the floor a few moments before she looked up at the doctor who had the joy of a breakthrough written on his eyes. She allowed him a few moments of happiness before she began to laugh out loud.

"What, I don't," the doctor stammered.

"Come on doctor, were you really expecting some huge breakthrough, some big heart to heart that starts my road to recovery?" She said as she continued to laugh. "You really believed that didn't you?"

"I really want to help you Azula, you just have to talk to me," he implored her.

"Why, so you can be the great Dr. Zhang, the one who cured the evil Azula?" She mocked him as he stood surprised.

"That has nothing to do with it."

"Please doctor, don't insult me, I know you're lying, I can read you like a book."

"How?"

"What can I say, I'm a people person, and I know a liar when I hear one," she explained before she cut her eyes at him. "Like I said, everyone is in it for themselves in some way."

"There is nothing inside you is there Azula?"

"Yes, but nothing you're looking for doctor."

Dr. Zhang had talked to her almost every day for the past two years, but still he looked as if he could not believe what he was hearing.

"Then I am truly sorry," he said with a sigh before he shook his head.

"Don't feel bad doctor, you can always try again tomorrow."

"I'm afraid there isn't going to be a tomorrow Azula, at least not here," Dr. Zhang replied as he walked back towards the far door.

"Giving up doctor?"

"Unfortunately yes Azula," he answered before he slammed the bottom of his fist into the door twice.

"So can I leave?"

"In a way you are Azula," he said as four guards came through the door. "You brother has been monitoring your progress or lack thereof, and he gave me some instructions."

"Yes, Zuko. My dear brother who has not come to visit me once since he became Firelord," she said as the guards entered through the door. "What instructions has he given you?"

"He said that if after two years you still refused to even try to get better, that you would be transferred to Boiling Rock Prison," Dr. Zhang explained. "This room could be better used for a real patient."

"Anything is better than here," she said before she stepped back from the door. "I'm sure Zuko has let everyone out of Boiling Rock by now, it can be my own little island paradise."

Two of the guards came into the cell while the others locked them in and waited. Azula was used to the drill, because they did it every time they took her out of her cell to enjoy the serenity of the gardens. She had to make fists and have her hands placed in metal gloves before they were secured behind her back.

"Well doctor, it's been fun. Maybe you can come to Boiling Rock and we can do it again," Azula joked as she was led out by the guards.

"I hope you find peace Azula," Dr. Zhang said as she passed.

Azula gave no further response to Dr. Zhang and never once turned to look at the man she had talked to almost every day for the past two years. She exited the asylum where three more guards waited, one who looked to be an Imperial Firebender.

"Greeting Azula, I am Captain Zhu, and I will be taking you to Boiling Rock Prison," the Imperial Firebender said with a wide grin.

Azula looked down to the pier where an airship was waiting, but it looked like no airship she had seen before.

"That doesn't look like a Fire Nation airship," Azula commented.

"After the war Fire Lord Zuko repurposed all airships in production to be used a civilian transports, to better connect major cities throughout all the nations," one of the guards explained.

"What are those smaller ships for?" She asked.

"Former war balloons that are used to take individuals to smaller villages and towns along the way were an airship would be unable to land," another of the guards explained. "You use a lever to extend the platform away from the airship, and then use fire to power the balloon," the guard continued.

"Enough, the prisoner does not need to know the details of how our airships operate," Captain Zhu scolded the guard. "She will not have use for either for quite some time anyway," he added as they walked up the ramp to the airship.

"Being a civilian transport there is no brig, but there are plenty of rooms we can secure you in," Captain Zhu said before he pointed down the hall. "And since there's nothing but ocean between here and Boiling Rock, it's not like you're going anywhere."

Azula felt the airship lift off as four of the guards escorted her to a room at the very far end of the hallway. Two waited outside the door while the others took her inside and sat her in a chair which had chains hanging over the armrest.

"Let me make sure these are secure for the ride to Boiling Rock," one of the guards said as he circled behind the chair. "Do not worry Princess; there are still those who wish to see the Fire Nation reach the goals of your father," the guard whispered.

It was rare that Azula was taken off guard, but it was one of those instances, even more so when she felt the guard unlock her gloves.

"Who are you," she asked confused.

"I am Lu Chen and we are from the Order of the Rising Phoenix. We wish to see you on the throne of the Fire Nation," he whispered.

"Does my brother know of you?" She asked.

"I'm sure he has heard whispers of us," the guard answered.

"So it seems my dear brother does not care about my treatment, he wants to send me to Boiling Rock because it is more secure," she reasoned as dark plans began to weave their way through her mind. "He did not want me in Capital City Prison because it may have been within your reach."

"Yes it seems that way Princess," Lu Chen agreed. "And that is why we felt it urgent that we free you before you reached Boiling Rock."

"So everyone isn't happy with my brother's vision of all the nations being one happy family."

"No Princess," Lu Chen answered with disgust. "All we need is you, and we can see all nations combined under one ruler the way they should have been," he added with a wide grin.

Azula had never believed in fate, because it meant that she was not in complete control. But however it had happened she had been provided a chance to exact revenge upon all who had wronged her, and finally sit upon the throne of the Fire Nation.

"Not even the avatar will be able to stop us," the other guard said.

"So will you join us Princess?" Lu Chen asked.

"Absolutely."

"We will create a diversion at the front of the ship, and while the guards are busy with us, you can make your way to one of the smaller air balloons and escape," Lu Chen explains. "You remember what I said about how they work?"

"Yes," Azula answered as she struggled to keep her voice down in all her excitement.

"There will still be two guards outside, but I'm sure they'll be no problem for you," Lu Chen said before he and the other guard exited the room and pulled the doors closed.

Azula was anxious as she waited for the diversion, it seemed to be taking forever. She had suffered in that asylum for two years while her brother sat upon a throne that was rightfully hers. She tried to envision the moment when he lost his power and the look upon his face when he realized it was her doing. Soon more dark visions crept into her mind, as she thought about what she would do when she finally caught up with all those who had betrayed her.

"Soon, very soon, you're all going to pay."

She felt a vibration in the ship, but it was the sound of an explosion that pulled her out of the world she was in. Her anxiousness turned to anticipation as the ship was rocked by another explosion. She pulled her hands from the metal gloves and dropped them to the floor before she stood and ran to the door.

"Secure the prisoner," one of the guards screamed from the other side.

She drew back her hands and took a deep breath before she thrust her fists forward and sent a stream of blue fire exploding through the doors and down the hallway. It had been so long since she felt powerful and in control. But as she stepped through what was left of the flaming doors and past the bodies of the guards it felt like past days.

"I'm back," she declared before she took off down the hallway.

"STOP!" A guard yelled as he emerged from around a corner followed by two others.

She didn't slow down or even wait for them to attack. She leapt into the air and delivered two spinning kicks, which sent knives of blue flame cutting through the air. She landed, slammed her fist to the floor and watched as a wave of blue fire swept away the last guard. She turned to the outer door and blew it open with a stream of blue flame before she leapt onto the platform outside.

"Great, a storm is coming" she fumed as she looked around at the dark skies.

The sky was dark as night, and only the flash of lightning provided light. She ran carefully down the platform as thunder crashed and shook it beneath her feet.

"That's far enough."

She looked ahead and there was a shadowy figure between and the air balloon. She could not see his face in the shadows but knew by the shadow of the three pronged helmet exactly who it was, the only Imperial Firebender on the airship.

"Captain Zhu."

Lightning cracked behind him and blue light fell across the platform as she stepped slowly towards him.

"I knew this was all a rouse to help you escape," he said as he took an offensive stance. "But if you wish to escape, you will have to go through me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she said as hair blew across her face.

Zhu stepped forward and sent a stream of fire towards her, but she leapt forward and flipped before she sliced his flames in half with a kick. Fire crashed onto the platform and flames ignited all around them. She propelled herself forward and sent a stream or fire towards Zhu, who raised a wall of flame to block it. The sheer force of her attack pushed him back to the edge of the platform, as she continued her onslaught. Zhu leapt over her and sent flames down from above her, but she extended her hand and deflected them with blue fire. She did not even wait for him to land before she swept her leg and sent a coating of blue flame over the platform. Zhu shot flame beneath him and scattered the blue flames enough to land safely.

"Impressive, you have not lost any of you strength in that asylum," Zhu praised her between heavy breaths. "I can keep this up for a very long time, but do you have that luxury?" He asked as lightning cracked behind her and the confident look on Zhu's face was shown in the blue light.

She stepped forward to attack again, but she paused as she saw two guards run onto the platform. She realized that the longer the fight went on, the more guards would appear until even she was overwhelmed.

"Surrender, you cannot escape," Zhu proposed, just as the first of the rain drops hit her face.

Lightning cracked behind her again, and in the blue light she knew just how she could escape the airship. She took a deep breath and began to wave her arms slowly through the air, and quickly the air around her crackled with lightning. She looked over at Zhu and his men, who began to back away in fear of the rare power. They had only taken a couple steps before she extended her fingers and strands of lightning raced towards them. Zhu tried to raise a wall of fire to protect them, but the lightning shattered it in a violent explosion.

"You were saying Captain Zhu," she gloated as she walked over to them.

"You will not get away, we will find you," he said with pain through clinched teeth, as he held his side. "You will only get so far in that balloon before we catch you."

"You assume too many things Captain Zhu," she countered as she grinned.

She walked to the end of the platform and climbed into the air balloon, before she used blue flame to light the furnace and fill the balloon. She waved her arms and her body began to crackle with lightning once again, before she sent lightning into the airship's rudder.

"What are you doing?" Zhu screamed as she tried to sit up.

"As I said Captain, you assume too much," she said before she pulled the lever and extended the platform away from the airship. "You assume I will leave this airship intact for you to be able to follow me," she yelled back.

"You would kill everyone, even those who came to rescue you?" Zhu screamed with disbelief etched upon his face.

"I am all that matters Captain," she said before she pulled the lever again and released the balloon. "I WILL sit upon the throne of the Fire Nation."

Strands on lightning jumped around her body before she thrust forward her hands and sent lightning into all the propellers on her side of the airship. Rain began to pelt her as she watched the ship began to plummet from the sky in flames. She piloted her balloon away, but she kept an eye on the airship for as long as she could to make sure it crashed into the ocean.

"_What are you doing Azula?"_ She asked herself as she thought about all the people who were aboard the airship. _"You really are a monster."_

But if everyone already thought her a monster, why should she be anything but. Her mother, her brother, her friends, even her father saw something in her he feared. At least if she was thought of as a monster she would be feared, respected.

Azula tried to keep her bearings in the heavy rain and wind, but she had a bigger problem than getting lost. She felt her body become cold from the rain and she struggled to keep fire going into the furnace. She knew that she had lost altitude, but she did not know how much until she began to hear the water of the ocean beneath her. Lightning cracked in the distance and she could see the rough ocean waters for a moment beneath her in the flash of light.

"_Come on Azula, you're not this weak,"_ she pressed herself as her hands shivered.

She took a deep breath and tried to force flames from her hands, but soon she couldn't generate any fire at all. She felt the balloon continue to slowly descend until she could see shadows of the waves even in the darkness. She clinched the rail and braced herself for the crash, which came quickly, and she struggled to stay in the ship as it slammed into the water. She looked around but all she could see through the rain was shadows.

"This can't be happening," she screamed as the metal ship began to sink into the water.

She had the throne within her reach, but all of a sudden it seemed that she would never see it. Perhaps there was such thing as fate, and it seemed that fate like everyone else was against her.

She gasped at the sight of a large wave in front of her, which lifted the ship into the air and turned it sideways. She held onto the rail and looked down at the water where it seemed her journey would end. She closed her eyes as the wave turned the ship upside down and soon there was nothing but darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **I would like to thank all the people who reviewed my story and added my story to their alert list.

Something that came up in reviews and in some PM's I got was Azula sacrificing the two members of the Order. The plan was for her to sneak away during the commotion. When Captain Zhu figured out the plan and cut her off, she could no longer sneak away. She realized he was telling the truth when he said she would never outrun them in her balloon. So it was bring down the airship or be captured again. I had a part in the original draft of the chapter where after Lu Chen explained the plan, Azula asked what about the two of you, and they said they were willing to sacrifice themselves to see the Fire Nation restored. But I took it out because I didn't think that was a question Azula would have asked.

I hope that clears up that part. So without further ado, chapter 2, hope you enjoy.

**Chapter II – Whispers of the Phoenix**

Fire Lord Zuko stood on the edge of the royal pond lost in thought as he looked at his reflection on the water. His thoughts fell to his mother as they did whenever he came to the pond, and he focused on many or her words to him.

"Zuko, ZUKO!"

Zuko turned and looked at Mai, who sat against a tree with an irritated look that he was more than familiar with. She looked up into his eyes and her look quickly changed from one of irritation to one of concern.

"I'm sorry Mai, I'm ignoring you,' Zuko apologized before he dropped his head.

Mai stood up and walked over to him before she grabbed his hand and looked in his eyes again. People thought Mai cold because she rarely showed emotion, but Zuko had always found warmth and support in her eyes.

"What's wrong Zuko? You've been so distant lately." Mai asked, her voice full of concern.

"I'm worried."

"About what?"

"I'm worried that all that I've worked to build over the last two years may be destroyed," Zuko explained.

Mai sighed loudly before she shook her head before she turned her eyes away, and the look of irritation returned to her face.

"You're not about to start going on about this Order of the Rising Phoenix again are you," Mai asked as she shook her head. "They haven't done anything to show they're more than some crazy group of fire nation extremists."

"There are some crazy extremists, but they're out in the open. These guys, this Order of the Rising Phoenix is something different," Zuko countered. "They're in the shadows, just waiting for the right time to strike."

"Waiting for what? The longer they wait, the more people will see how good things are with all four nations living in harmony."

"I think they're waiting for my sister," Zuko answered.

"Azula," Mai said disgustedly as she cut her eyes at him. "What would they want that whack job for?'

Mai had never once showed sympathy for Azula's mental breakdown, but Zuko as much a he didn't want to had moments when he felt sorry for her circumstance. He had tried to rid himself of those feelings constantly, which was a task he thought would be easier if he never visited her and looked in her in the eyes.

"She represents the old ways," Zuko said as he turned and looked back onto the pond. "She represents my father's vision of how the world should be," he explained.

"I'm sure they're other people they can find who think the same way who aren't in a mental asylum," Mai retorted, disgust still in her voice.

"Yes, but none of them are a member of the royal family who can be put upon the throne of the fire nation," Zuko explained. "It's not a coup if something happens to me and they put the next in line on the throne. People will have to accept it."

"Well then I guess you better increase the security at the asylum," Mai joked.

"It's not as much of a joke as you think," Zuko said.

He dropped his eyes to the water just as a turtle duck swam through his reflection and sent ripples over the water. He thought he had solved his inner turmoil after he helped the Avatar save the world. But when it came to how far he should go to protect the throne he once again was torn in two just like his reflection.

"I had Azula transferred to Boiling Rock so that this Order would lose the most important piece of their plan," Zuko explained before he began to shake his head. "But nothing has worked out the way it should have," he continued before he slammed his fist into the palm of his hand.

"What happened?" Mai inquired.

"It's less than a one day trip from the asylum to Boiling Rock, but I've received no word that Azula has arrived," Zuko answered.

"How many days has it been?"

"Four," Zuko quickly answered. "I should have at least received a messenger eagle by now."

"I'm sure everything is fine Zuko," Mai said as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Or maybe not," she added with a deep sigh.

"What are you…," Zuko began to say.

He let out a sigh as well as he looked to his left where Ming the royal advisor and Yao one of his military captains approached. He enjoyed being Fire Lord, but he hated the meetings and briefings that came with it because they took away from his firebending practice and his time with Mai.

"Advisor Ming, Captain Yao, is there something you need?" Zuko asked as both bowed their heads to him.

"Lord Zuko, there is something urgent we must discuss with you immediately," Ming said anxiously.

"What is it?" Zuko asked.

"In private," Ming answered as she cut her eyes at Mai. "Come with us."

"Anything you have to say you can say in front of Mai," Zuko said annoyed.

"Of course Lord Zuko," Ming apologized before she bowed her head quickly. "It's just that in these times we must be careful with sensitive information."

"I trust Mai with my life, so whatever you have to say, just say it and stop wasting time," Zuko demanded.

"We just received word from one of our cruisers, they have found the wreckage of an airship in the ocean," Captain Yao said as he dropped his head.

"The airship that was carrying my sister?" Zuko asked reluctantly because he feared the answer that he knew would follow.

"Yes, it seems so my Lord," Yao answered with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Zuko felt a sadness over the possible loss of his sister, but he did not know if was to a level appropriate for one who had just lost a sibling. He knew that they had never been close, but he thought that he would have felt something more. Then he realized that his lack of emotion was not because he didn't feel a loss over her death, but something else.

"How did this happen?" Zuko's voice broke as he asked.

"I will not know until I take my men and investigate the wreckage," Yao explained.

"No Captain Yao, appoint a leader and send your men to investigate the wreckage," Zuko ordered.

"What about me my Lord?' Yao asked confused.

"Gather three of the best Imperial Firebenders and meet me in the throne room," Zuko ordered.

"Yes my Lord," Yao said before he bowed his head and turned to leave.

"Perhaps this will put an end to this Order of the Rising Phoenix," Ming said as she looked at Zuko. "Without a member of the royal family to put upon the throne they may abandon their plans."

"Ming, you have just brought word that my sister is probably dead, and all you have to say is that the Order's plans may be ruined," Zuko said angrily as he glared at Ming. "Are you serious," he blurted.

"I am sorry my Lord," Ming apologized. "There will be time to mourn your sister, but the wellbeing of the Fire Nation must come first."

Ming tightened up and pulled away slightly as she tried to brace herself for the anger she thought was coming.

"You don't even know if this Order is even a threat, the people of the Fire Nation are happy," Mai said angrily she glared at Ming. "They support Zuko," she blurted.

"Most do, but there are those who prefer the days when Fire Nation was set to rule over all the lands," Ming explained. "There are also those who feel that Fire Lord Zuko has brought shame to the Fire Nation."

"How so?" Mai demanded.

"By saying that there was no war with the Air Nomads, but that the Fire Nation committed genocide in wiping them out," Ming explained. "Some feel that the glory of victory in battle is now the shame of killing a peaceful people."

"I owed it to the Air Nomads to reveal the truth," Zuko defended himself. "More importantly I owed to Aang."

"That may be so, but some still think it brought shame to the Fire Nation," Ming said.

"Some people, or you?" Mai asked.

"I support whatever the Fire Lord decrees," Ming answered.

"That is not an answer," Mai countered before she cut her eyes at Ming.

"Mai," Zuko said with a sigh before he cleared his throat. "There are more important things to worry about right now."

"Whatever," Mai said with a wave of her hand before she turned and walked back by the tree.

"I need some time Ming, I will come and speak with you when I am ready," Zuko said.

"But my Lord we…,"

"I said I would come see you when I'm ready," Zuko cut her off angrily.

"Yes, sorry my Lord," Ming said before she bowed her head and cowered away.

Zuko turned, looked out onto the pond and thought back on the days when he and his sister had spent time there. The days when she used to throw loaves of bread at the turtle ducks, up to the day she used his hesitation in answering a question to determine that the avatar was not dead. His fist trembled as he thought about how she used that information to turn shame that should have been hers to him. He wondered why he cared about her wellbeing at all.

"I can't believe Azula may be dead," Zuko said as he continued to look out over the water.

"Maybe she's better off," Mai said coldly.

"Don't sound so sad."

"What do you want me to say Zuko," Mai asked angrily. "Do you expect me to cry and say how much I miss her?"

"You were friends."

"Really, because the last words I ever heard her say were to tell Fire Nation soldiers to lock up Ty Lee and I and let us rot. Have you forgotten how she set my hair on fire so you'd knock me in the fountain, or how she threatened us if we didn't do what she said, or…," Mai rambled on angrily before she cut herself off and looked away.

Zuko didn't know if he should take her anger as uncaring or as a way to vent sadness that she didn't know she had or didn't want to show.

"So no Zuko, I'm not sad," she said as she shook her head.

"You don't have to always keep everything inside Mai."

"I'm not keeping anything inside Zuko, I don't care," she said with great conviction. "If you want someone to cry and feel sad I suggest you go to Kyoshi Island and find Ty Lee."

"Whatever Mai," he said with a sigh. "I have to go meet Captain Yao."

"Fine, go."

Zuko sighed because he knew that he was on her bad side, which was a place he tried to avoid. He walked over to her and tried to make things up to her with a kiss, but she put her hand between her face and his.

"Bye Zuko," she said before she looked away.

He felt it better to cut his losses and give her time, so he turned and walked back towards the palace as he thought about how he planned to proceed. He walked through the palace towards the throne room, and paused as he came into the Royal Gallery. He looked upon the newest portrait, which was his and wondered how he compared to the others. He thought he had been a good Fire Lord, but he had yet to be tested.

He turned his head and looked at the portrait of his father, before he dropped his eyes and shook his head. "I will not turn into you."

He lingered there for a few more moments before he continued on to the throne room where Captain Yao waited with three others. They all fell to their knees and bowed their heads as he approached.

"I have a task for the four of you," Zuko said.

"Do you want us to track down the leaders of this Order of the Rising Phoenix?" Captain Yao asked. "I've been waiting for this opportunity."

"No, I want you to find my sister," Zuko said, before shocked looks fell over all their faces.

Zuko realized why he felt almost no emotion when he was told of the crash. He never believed that she was dead. He felt that he would know if she were.

"But my Lord, she's dead," Captain Yao responded.

"No Captain, I know my sister, and I can tell you that she is not dead," Zuko said as he looked down on the four firebenders. "We will mourn her, a grand ceremony that even the Order of the Rising Phoenix cannot miss."

"And without their new ruler, they will have to spend time constructing a new plan," Yao said with a wide grin. "Time we can use to find and eliminate them."

"Exactly," Zuko said as he grinned as well.

"But my Lord, even if she isn't dead, how would we find her?' Yao asked.

"Start with the current, the debris should follow a path," Zuko suggested before he began to pace in front of them. "There are only a few places it could have taken her,"

"But my Lord, the odds of finding her, even her body," Yao said as he shook his head.

"If you have found nothing in a month I'll admit I was wrong about this," Zuko conceded as he stopped pacing. "But I don't think I will be."

"And if we find her?" Yao asked.

"Do whatever you must to capture her and take her to Boiling Rock," Zuko instructed.

"She will not come quietly."

"Whatever you must Captain," Zuko said more emphatically.

"Yes my Lord," the four firebenders said before they stood, bowed their heads and left the room.

Zuko began to leave the room as well until he heard a loud, deep sigh from behind one of the columns.

"I don't need you to look after my every step anymore uncle," Zuko said as she turned to the shadows behind the column.

"I don't know nephew, because it seems that you may be losing your way again," General Iroh said as he stepped from behind the columns.

"I haven't uncle, I know exactly what I'm doing," Zuko disagreed.

"Secret meetings away from your counsel, stopping your sister's therapy to stash her away in prison, even planning a fake memorial to deceive your people," Iroh said as he shook his head and sighed again. "No nephew, I feel that you do not."

"I'm doing what I have to do to protect the Fire Nation," Zuko countered.

"Be careful nephew, do not let your fear of losing power cause you to become someone you are not."

"I am not afraid of losing power uncle I just want to protect this nation."

"All who gain power are afraid to lose it nephew, do not think yourself different," Iroh lectured him. "The key is how you handle that fear," he continued to lecture him before he walked over and put his hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Do not let that fear turn you into what you seek to protect your people from."

Zuko watched as Iroh turned and left the throne room, and he began to think about his words.

"I'm a good ruler, I'm doing what's right," he said to himself, but for the first time he didn't know if he believed his own words.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III – Tai-Shan Village**

Azula slowly opened her eyes but all she could see were shadows and blurred flickers of orange. She sat up on her elbows and pain she had never felt before immediately shot through her left side and shoulder. She screamed loudly before she fell onto her back and tried not to move. She remained completely still for a few moments before she checked her arms and legs one at a time. From the amount of pain she discovered that the left side of her body was injured. She could feel her breaths being restricted by tight bandages, and she could feel them on her left hand and shoulder as well.

"What happened to me?" She asked the still, dim air before she began to search her mind for answers. "The STORM," she blurted as she began to recall the events that led her from the asylum, to the cold waters of the ocean, and finally darkness.

She clinched her teeth and suffered through the pain to slowly sit up. She tried to focus her eyes, but it seemed like she was opening them for the first time. She was in a house the best she could tell, but the only light was a small fire on the other side of the room. She pulled the cover down and tossed it to the end of the small bed, before she slowly swung feet off the bed and put them on the floor.

"What do I have on?"

It took only a few moments to recognize the clothing was that of Earth Kingdom, which created a whole new set of questions in her mind. What happened after she blacked out, how did she end up in the Earth Kingdom, and did they know who she was? She didn't know the answer to the last question, but she knew that she was in a house and not a jail. She also knew that after what she had done in Ba Sing Se, that if they didn't know who she was she couldn't let them find out.

"I have to get out of here."

She braced herself for the pain and struggled to stand to her feet. She took a short step to check her balance before she walked slowly out of the bedroom into a living area. She started towards the door but before she could take another step, the door flew open and light poured into the house. Her eyes tried desperately to focus to the light, and she started to collect herself to firebend. She began to raise her hand before she realized that the shadow was only that of a small girl.

"SHU, SHU, she's awake," the girl turned her head and yelled from the doorway.

Azula could see the shadow of a larger person coming towards them, and her eyes finally focused to the light to reveal the form as an older girl who looked to be about the same age as her, perhaps a little older. She turned sideways to enter the house because she carried a pole over her shoulders with wooden buckets of water on either end.

"You're finally awake," the girl rejoiced with wide smile, shared by the younger girl.

But her joyous expression quickly turned into one of concern, before she sat down the water and rushed quickly towards Azula.

"But what are you doing out of bed," the girl said concerned before she gently guided Azula back into the bedroom and sat her down on the bed. "Lay back."

"I have a feeling I've laid down enough," Azula refused.

The girl nodded her head before she picked up a couple of pillows from the floor.

"At least sit back against these," the girl urged as she put the pillows against the wall, and Azula scooted against them. "Is that OK?" She asked as she pulled the cover back over Azula's legs.

Azula looked at her confused as she opened the shutters and light flowed into the room from the windows. Azula didn't know what to make of the girl, who was tending to her like she was her servant.

"Who are you, where am I?" Azula asked.

"Tai-Shan," the younger girl yelled as she peeked into the bedroom.

"Is that your name?" Azula asked confused.

"No silly, that's the name of this village," the little girl answered.

"Ting, don't be rude," the older girl scolded the younger before she turned to Azula and smiled.

"I'm sorry, my name is Shu, and that is my little sister Ting," she introduced herself, as Ting came into the room, stood next to Shu and smiled. "And like Ting said so rudely, you are in Tai-Shan Village of the northwestern Earth Kingdom."

"How did I get here?" Azula asked.

"My brother and some other fisherman pulled you out the water almost a week ago," Shu answered. "You've been asleep here ever since."

"A wee…a week," Azula stumbled over her words as she tried so digest what she had just heard. "How is that possible?"

"We don't know, but we didn't think you were going to make it," Shu said as she sat down at a small table. "You must have some strong will to have survived your ordeal."

"There are things in my life I didn't want to leave unfinished," Azula said.

"Desire, strong will, I guess it's true what they say about those of the Fire Nation," Shu said before she turned her eyes away.

Azula was taken completely off guard. If she knew that she was from the Fire Nation, what else could she know?

"Wha…how do you know…"

"That you're from the Fire Nation," Shu cut her off. "I knew when I saw you in the other room," she continued as she turned and focused on Azula. "Your eyes, only those of the Fire Nation have amber eyes."

Azula only became more confused by the moment. She didn't understand why this girl would continue to wait on her every need, when she had every reason to hate her.

"You know I'm Fire Nation, and you're still taking care of me."

"It's been two years, most no longer hate the Fire Nation," she answered. "At least not as they did during the war," she continued. "Besides I doubt you had anything to with what happened two years ago anyway, you're a commoner like us."

Azula's fist clinched beneath the cover with Shu's words. How dare she call her a commoner, she was nobility, the future Fire Lord. She was no mere commoner.

"What makes you think I'm a commoner?" Azula asked as calmly as she could.

"Well you're definitely not nobility," Shu answered with a smile before she walked over to the bed. "I know you were pulled you from the water, but I've changed your bandages every day and your hair, hands and feet have not seen the hands of servants," she concluded as she pulled her fingers through some of Azula's hair. "If they have, it's been a long time."

Azula hated to admit it, but the way Shu had taken care of her in the time since she woke up was the best she had been treated since the day she was supposed to become Fire Lord.

"You still haven't told us your name," Shu said.

"My name is Azu…"

She quickly cut herself off, because even if some of the hatred and distrust from the war had died down. She doubted that she would be forgiven as easily for her acts.

"Mi…my name is Azumi," she said with a fake smile. "I thank you for all you've done for me. I don't know how I can repay you," she forced out the words and kept a straight face.

"Repay us," Shu said with a surprised look on her face. "My mother used to tell me that good deeds are their own rewards."

Azula struggled to keep a smile on her face, because she wanted with all her being to tell Shu how absurd her words were. But she realized that she was injured, and until she could manage and travel on her own, it was best that she went along. She didn't worry about them finding out who she was, because if she could fool leaders she could certainly fool some simple commoners.

"She sounds a lot like my mother," Azula said.

Azula could not help but to find it ironic that she did not even have to lie, she could use the truth to keep her secret. Shu's statement reeked of her mother, and Azula did not agree with it anymore at that moment then when her mother had said it.

"I'm sure your mother is very worried about you," Shu said sympathetically.

"I lost my mother when I was very young," Azula said.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean too…," Shu apologized.

"Oh don't apologize, I dealt with it long time ago," Azula assured her. "I lost my father near the end of war so it's just been me and my brother."

"You two must be very close then."

"Yes very," Azula said before she smirked. "When I can travel on my own again, I truly look forward to seeing my dear brother again."

"The closest port with ships large enough to reach the Fire Nation is Chuan-Hu to the southeast," Shu explained. "Or you could go to Ba Sing Se and take the airship," she suggested as well. "But that would be far out of your way to the east.

"I'm tempted, I have never seen Ba Sing Se," Azula said as she shook her head. "But I really wish to see my brother again as soon as I am able."

"SHU, SHU," they heard yelled from the other room.

"Speaking of brothers, that's Chen-Li" Shu said as she shook her head and grinned. "We're in here," Shu yelled back.

Azula listened to the heavy footsteps as they stomped across the floor and drew nearer to the room. Shu walked towards to door as if she wished to cut him off, but before she got there a young man burst through the doorway.

"Shu, you haven't started breakfast," he complained as he held his arms to his sides. "I'm starving, I've been working the fishing nets all morning," he added as he rubbed his stomach.

"I couldn't Chen-Li, I had gotten some water and was about to get some wood for the fire when Ting yelled and told me that our guest was awake," Shu explained before she stepped aside.

"Well it's about time," Chen-Li said uncaringly. "I thought she was going to stay asleep forever."

"Chen-Li," Shu blurted angrily before she cut her eyes at him.

"While you were talking did you ask her how she ended up clinging to a piece of a wrecked ship so far off the coast?" Chen-Li asked as he pointed at Azula.

"That's what I was doing when you interrupted us," Shu answered annoyed.

Azula could not help but smirk as it seemed that Shu got along with her brother about as well as she had gotten along with Zuko.

"However it was, she should consider herself lucky that the currents brought her close to the Earth Kingdom and not the Fire Nation," Chen-Li said as he shook his head. "Fire Nation only cares about themselves. They would have probably let her drown."

"Chen-Li," Shu raised her hand and tried to cut him off.

"What?" Chen-Li said confused. "You know as well as I do how heartless the people of the Fire Nation are," he insisted a he dismissed Shu with a wave of his hand. "They haven't changed, their Fire Lord helped conquer Ba Sing Se," he continued bitterly. "Now he talks peace, what a joke."

"Chen-Li, she's from the Fire Nation," Shu said embarrassed before a deep sigh.

Chen-Li turned and glared at her before he walked closer to the bed, stood there for a few moments, and fumed as he stared down at her.

"Then she can leave," Chen-Li barked.

"No Chen-Li, she can barely walk," Shu objected vehemently. "Where is she supposed to go?"

"Anywhere but here," Chen-Li retorted.

"NO!" Ting yelled before she ran over and stood between Chen-Li and Azula. "You can't kick Zumi out."

"Zumi," Chen-Li said with a strange look on his face.

Chen-Li's look was shared by Azula, as she looked at Ting and shook her head. Azula had never had a nickname in her life, but in one moment she had one for a name that wasn't even hers.

"Chen-Li, this is Azumi," Shu said. "She is a commoner just like us, she had nothing to do with what the Fire Nation did."

"You're too trusting Shu," Chen-Li disagreed. "You certainly live up to your name."

"What does he mean," Azula asked confused, as she looked at Shu.

"Shu, it means kind and gentle," Shu explained.

"My name means graceful," Ting said happily before she turned and did two perfect cartwheels.

It reminded Azula of Ty Lee, and more so how she was second best to Ty Lee when they were kids doing cartwheels.

"Can you do a cartwheel Zumi?" Ting asked with a wide smile before she did another.

"In my condition it wouldn't be worth seeing," Azula said before she looked away.

"Why does it matter what it looks like if you're having fun?" Ting asked with a confused look on her face.

"That's enough Ting," Shu said before she grabbed Ting by the shoulders and started to usher her out of the room. "Azumi is in no condition to do a play with you."

Chen-Li watched his sisters until they turned a corner, then he turned back to Azula with contempt etched all over his face.

"Can you bend?" Chen-Li asked suddenly.

"What?" Azula snapped back as she glared up at him.

"Are you a bender, can you bend fire?"

"Are you a bender?" Azula questioned him.

"We all are," Chen-Li answered as he grew more irritated and impatient. "But you didn't answer my question."

"Why does it matter, I would think the last thing you would want in your house is an untrustworthy citizen of the Fire Nation who could firebend," Azula said.

Azula continued to try and buy time as she thought about whether or not she should admit she can firebend. She knew that if she used her firebending the moment they saw a blue flame they may recognize her, if not by stories of her alone.

"I figure that since Shu was not able to gather fire wood and start a fire to cook, you could start one for her, or heat the water," Chen-Li explained.

Azula started to refuse the request outright, because she was not a cook or a servant. But then she realized she needed a place to stay until she had recovered, and even if Chen-Li didn't trust her, Shu was willing to nurse her back to full health.

"Yes, I can bend," Azula admitted.

She knew that she could perform such simple tasks without showing her true power.

"Then will you help Shu with breakfast?" Chen-Li asked.

"I will try, but I am only a novice," Azula said before she threw back the cover.

She swung her feet onto the floor and looked up at Chen-Li, who she expected to help her from the bed. But instead he turned and started to walk away.

"The kitchen is this way," he said as he exited the room.

Azula grinned as she watched him walk away.

"_When I'm healthy I'll show you firebending,_" she thought to herself as she continued to grin.

She braced herself before she stood and walked slowly out of the room. She held her side as she followed Chen-Li to a small kitchen area where Shu was putting the water in a pot.

"Our guest is going to heat that water for you, and set a fire," Chen-Li explained.

"You're a firebender?" Shu asked.

"Just a novice, but I can do this for you," Azula answered.

She took as deep a breath as she could and put her hand against the side of the pot. But many moments passed and there was nothing. She tried again, but the water did not start to boil. She opened the bottom of the stove and placed her hand over the used wood but it would not ignite.

"I guess you're more a novice than you thought," Chen-Li said before he started to laugh.

Azula cut her eyes at him before she walked by him and made her way back to the bedroom where a fire still burned. She tried to manipulate it, but the flame only shook slightly as if a small gust of wind had passed it.

"I don't understand," Azula said confused as she looked at her hand.

"You're injured Azumi, and there's no telling how long you were in those cold waters before you were pulled out," Shu comforted her. "You probably just need some time," she suggested with a comforting smile. "Here lay back down, I'll finish breakfast."

"WHAT," Chen-Li yelled angrily. "She's probably faking so she doesn't have to pull her weight," Chen-Li accused Azula as he glared at her. "She's Fire Nation Shu you can't trust anything she says."

"ENOUGH!" Shu yelled.

She took a deep breath to calm herself before she turned and looked at her brother.

"Mom and dad left me in charge when they left, and I say that Azumi stays," Shu said sternly before she pushed her brother out the room. "Now go get some fire wood so I can make a fresh fire for breakfast."

"You're still too trusting," Chen-Li said before he stomped off.

As much as Azula disliked what she had seen of Chen-Li, she had to admit that he was right. Shu was too trusting, and she had no idea who she sought to nurse back to health.

"I thought you said people had started to forgive the Fire Nation," Azula inquired.

"I said most," Shu said before she looked away towards the door. "That does not include my brother," she said before she sat at the table again."

"Why?"

"One morning years ago, The Fire Nation landed ships on our coast in search of earthbenders" Shu explained as her eyes began to tremble. "All adult benders went to protect the village from the Fire Nation, while elders and children fled to hide in the mountains" she continued as a tear rolled down her cheek. "All were either captured or killed."

"You parents were earthbenders," Azula said and Shu only nodded her head.

"Yes, and once the Fire Nation had gone, we returned to rebuild our village," Shu explained. "We've all handled it in different ways," Shu said before she looked over at Azula and another tear fell from her eye. "Chen-Li blames the Fire Nation for our parents' deaths and swears that he will never forgive them."

"What about your sister?"

"She was an earthbending prodigy, but she thinks that our parents would have never left if they weren't earthbenders," Shu said before turned and looked through the door at Ting as she played in the other room. "She hasn't earthbended since the day we got word about our parents."

Azula didn't know why she cared, but for some reason she felt the need to ask the questions. She figured that if she was going to have to stay with these people, she needed to know as much about them as possible in case she needed to use the information later.

"And you?"

Shu turned and looked back at Azula before she just shook her head.

"I feel enough lives have been lost to war and hatred," Shu answered before she stood from the table. "The avatar didn't save the world to have us still live as separate nations," she continued as she started to walk out the room. She stopped in the doorway and dropped her head before she sighed. "We need to live in harmony again."

Shu wiped the tears from her cheeks before she turned and tried to smile.

"But enough about the past, I need to get breakfast started," Shu said as she tried to return to her earlier demeanor. "I'm sure after a week asleep you're starving," she said with a smile before she left the room.

Azula didn't know what to make of the family, but with Chen-Li's distrust and her inability to firebend, she knew one thing for certain.

"_Things just got a lot more complicated._"

**Author's Notes: **In case anyone is wondering where Tai-Shan village is exactly. If you have a map of the Avatar world, it's on the tip of that part of the Earth Kingdom to the west that sticks down over the smaller Fire Nation islands.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter IV - Perfection**

Azula's mind was flooded with nightmares as it was every time she slept since she had arrived in Tai-Shan village. Dark visions that told her that she would never sit upon the throne of the Fire Nation, and how she had been too weak to accomplish her goals. She saw visions of her loss on the day she would have become Fire Lord, and moments flashed like pictures of her time in the asylum. Her nightmares finally took her back to the day she failed to keep her air balloon fueled before she crashed into the ocean. She struggled to figure out if they were really nightmares, or were they doubts within herself asking was she strong enough to accomplish what she seeked? It seemed that every time what she desired seemed within her grasp, something intervened to take it away. Did the Order of the Phoenix think her dead because she had not been seen or spoke of in the Fire Nation? Was it even meant to be for her, or was she destined to never see the throne?

Azula began to hear a voice that shattered the dark world her nightmares had taken her into, and she awakened to the sound of Shu's voice telling her it was time to get up. Azula sat up in the bed and tried to wipe the sleep from her eyes, as Shu's face came into focus.

"Come on sleepyhead get up," Shu said before she turned around and opened the shutters.

Light didn't spill into the room as Azula had expected, instead she looked out the window into a dawning sky in shades of orange and yellow framed in black.

"It's so early," Azula said as she sat her feet on the floor.

"I thought that since you were starting to feel a little better, you could help with the morning duties," Shu said with a smile.

"_Duties,_" Azula thought to herself.

How could this commoner have the audacity to ask her, the Princess of the Fire Nation to do common chores? Azula thought that such things were beneath her, and Shu should continue to attend to her every need as she had been.

"You expect me to do chores, I am…" Azula started to say she was a Princess and she did not do chores, but she caught herself before she revealed such facts.

"You're what?" Shu asked as a confused look formed on her face.

"I am still injured," Azula said.

"It won't be anything strenuous, but I figured since your injuries were starting to heal you could help do your part," Shu suggested.

"My part," Azula asked, as it was then her who was confused.

"There is only one thing you need to remember about Tai-shan," Shu said as her demeanor grew more serious. "One village, one family," she added proudly.

"What does that mean?"

"Here in Tai-Shan, everyone contributes to the community, and therefore our village is one big family," Shu explained as she pointed out the window to the shadows of villagers who were already working. "We trust that if we do our part to help the village, the village will be there to help us if we're ever in need."

There was that word again, trust. It had not worked out in the past and Azula had no faith that it would work for an entire village.

"All trust does is leave you open for disappointment," Azula said as she shook her head and looked away. "People will let you down."

"Trust is all that has kept this village together," Shu disagreed, as the familiar smile left her face. "After the invasion, there were few adults in the village to lead us, and we did not know if we would survive," Shu said before she turned and looked out the window.

"Your village seems stable now," Azula said.

"That's because the brother of our former village leader who had left to fight in the war returned after the attack on Tai-Shan. It was him that brought the one village, one family philosophy to us," Shu recalled, as she continued to stare out the window. "Those who had lost their family found hope in becoming part of a bigger one."

Azula still was not ready to buy into the philosophy. She had been taught her entire life that the strong survive and the weak perish. It was not the duty of the strong to carry the weak, everyone should stand on their own.

"It may work in this small village, but that is not the way the world works," Azula said as she shook her head.

"That is good enough to keep Tai-Shan going," Shu said as she turned from the window and the smile returned to her face. "Many have helped with my duties while I tended to you, so it is time for you to return their kindness."

Azula wanted to say no, but the last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself, or be banished from the village injured and unable to firebend. She also thought that if the villagers had followed her philosophy, that she may have never been pulled from the ocean. She may not have agreed with their philosophy but she realized that she did owe them something, if not just to Shu for taking care of her.

Azula followed Shu outside into the village where the sun had risen a little farther in the sky. It felt good to be up and moving around because she had grown tired of spending her days in bed. Azula was surprised as she looked around and saw that the city was alive at such an early hour. She followed Shu down towards a river just outside the village, where there were several mills which sat on both sides.

"That mill there is where we make flour, and that one there is where we cut our cloth," Shu explained as she pointed at each mill in turn until she had told Azula each one's purpose.

Azula had not seen mills in the Fire Nation capital, but they still lacked the interest to make her care about their purpose. She watched as villagers carried grain to the nearest mill, while others took flour back to the village.

"What are you daily duties?" Azula asked.

"Well the past couple of weeks, they have been tending to you," Shu answered before she turned back to the water. "But normally I take buckets of water from the watermill to the fields."

They made their way down to the watermill, where another man had just arrived. He turned and looked at Shu, before a relieved look fell across his face.

"Good morning Shu it is good to have you back," the man welcomed her. "And you must be the newest member of our family, it is good to see you up and around," the man said before he bowed his head.

"Azumi, this is Chao, and he is in charge of the water mill," Shu introduced him. "And Chao this is Azumi."

Chao bowed his head again, and Azula did the same before he turned and disappeared into the mill. There were a few moments of silence before the mill came alive and the large wheel began to turn. Azula could hear the sound of water flowing, and she lifted her head as it flowed down a long bin which was closed at the end.

"Come over here," Shu beckoned Azula before she walked over to the end of the water bin, and picked up one of the buckets. "You pull this lever and it opens the end of the bin, then you close it once the bucket is full," she demonstrated.

"Seems boring," Azula said unenthused.

"Well usually we fill our own buckets and carry them to the fields," Shu explained as she filled a second bucket. "But since you aren't well enough to make the trip back and forth you can just fill buckets as we come."

"Wait, you're going to leave me here by myself?"

"Don't worry, once everyone gets here you'll be filling buckets so fast you won't have time to feel lonely," Shu said with a smile before she hung the buckets on either side of the pole and placed it over her shoulders. "Have fun."

Azula found Shu's words to be true, because once the villagers started coming to the river to get water the minutes began to fly by quickly. She had expected cold stares and rejection from the villagers, but she was surprised that every villager greeted her with smiles and well wishes for her recovery. Azula observed that whatever she thought about their philosophy, they all seemed to believe in it.

Azula had spent an hour or so by the mill the best she could tell, and every time Shu came for water, she had a smile for Azula and asked how she was doing. Azula began to feel the effects of her injuries and from then on every time she saw Shu she hoped she was coming for the last time to tell her she was done for the day. She finally she got her wish when Shu set her empty buckets on the ground and leaned her staff against the mill.

"That's enough for your first day Azumi," Shu said as she smiled.

"It's about time," Azula said as she tried to stretch and loosen up her side.

"Are you OK?" Shu asked concerned. "I'm sorry if that was too much."

Azula wanted to say it was too much so that she would not have to do it as long the next time, but her pride kept her from admitting weakness.

"I'm fine," she assured Shu.

"That's good," Shu said relieved. "Come on, let's go get some food."

Azula and Shu made their way back up the hill from the river, and Azula could not wait to go sit back down, or have her injured side massaged. She walked quickly and with purpose until she looked to her right and saw Ting practicing at the edge of the forest.

"I thought you said that your sister did not earthbend," Azula said as she continued to watch Ting practice. She reminded Azula a lot of herself when she was Ting's age because of the combination of skill and precision at such a young age.

"She doesn't, that's not an earthbending form, it is a hand to hand form," Shu explained.

Azula walked over towards Ting and stood just away from her, but Ting kept total focus and continued to practice. Ting had constantly pestered Azula to play with her inside the house while her siblings were doing their daily duties, but Azula could not relate to her because she was not used to being around kids. But when it came to combat, Azula felt that she could interact with her. Azula waited until she finished the form before she stepped closer.

"Do you want to learn a form from the Fire Nation?" Azula asked and Ting's face lit up.

"Yes," Ting answered excitedly.

Azula began to do the form and Ting watched her intently. She fought through the pain because Ting seemed to look up to her and she did not want to appear weak and imperfect in front of her.

"That was great Zumi," Ting said before she came and stood by Azula. "Are you sure you don't want to watch it one more time?" Azula asked, but Ting shook her head.

Azula started the form again and Ting mirrored her every move perfectly. Azula was impressed, and she started to see more of herself in Ting.

"What's going on here," a voice interrupted them, and they turned to see Chen-Li standing with some of his friends.

"Chen-Li, don't be so rude," Shu scolded him.

"Shu, you would let this Fire Nation girl teach something to our sister," Chen-Li fumed as he glared at Azula.

"Ting wants to do it Chen-Li, it is not hurting anyone," Shu insisted.

"There is nothing this girl can teach Ting," Chen-Li disagreed.

Azula was tired of holding her tongue in front of Chen-Li because she sought not to cause trouble for herself until she was healed. But Chen-Li was clearly in the wrong and Azula felt that Shu would take her side and defend her.

"I've heard the meaning of your sisters' names but I have yet to hear the meaning of yours Chen-Li," Azula said, which caused a smug look to fall over Chen-Li's face.

"It means great strength," he said arrogantly before he turned and nodded his head to his friends.

"Well I guess all the names couldn't fit," Azula quipped.

Azula grinned as the smug look left Chen-Li's face, and was replaced by one of anger. He stomped towards her and got right in her face.

"What did you say?" Chen-Li asked angrily.

"I said that I guess all the names couldn't fit," Azula repeated without backing down one inch.

"Take that back or you'll regret it," Chen-Li threatened Azula.

"Leave her alone Chen-Li, she's still injured," Shu ordered.

"Then she should have kept her mouth shut," Chen-Li barked.

"It's OK Shu," Azula said as she held out her hand for Shu to stay back. "Don't think because I can't firebend that I am helpless."

"Then do something," Chen-Li said as he reached out to push her.

But in one moment Azula grabbed his hand, twisted it and slammed her other hand against his elbow. Azula grimaced slightly, but Chen-Li's face twisted in pain before he fell to one knee. Chen-Li's friends sought to come to his aid, but a wall of earth rose in front of them and pushed them back.

"This is between Azumi and my brother," Shu said as she held out her hand. "I'm sure my brother doesn't need help to beat one Fire Nation girl he thinks is so weak."

"There is plenty I can teach your sister," Azula said as she pressed down on his elbow. "Or you for that matter."

"That's enough Azumi, you've proved your point," Shu said as she walked over and put her hand on Azula's shoulder. "Let's go."

Azula looked over at Ting who was smiling, before she nodded her hand and pushed Chen-Li away. She reached down and grabbed her side as she backed away with Shu, and kept her eye on Chen-Li.

"I'm disappointed in you Chen-Li, you know the rules of our village," Shu said as she shook her head in disappointment. "Azumi is as much a part of it as any of us,"

"She will never be part of this village," Chen-Li seethed. "And this isn't over," he roared.

He jumped to his feet and glared at Azula before he stomped the ground and pushed a large chunk of rock towards her. Azula braced herself to jump away, but before she could Shu slid in front of her and shattered the rock.

"Let it go Chen-Li," Shu urged him as she stood in front of Azula. "You know you can't beat me," she said as she fell into an earthbending stance.

"Why are you helping her, I am your brother?" Chen-Li asked bitterly.

"Because this is not the way of our village," Shu answered. "You know that Lu-Han would not want this," she continued.

Chen-Li continued to glare at Azula for a few moments before he grunted, turned away and walked off with his friends. Azula laughed on the inside at the sight of him as he retreated with his tail between his legs.

"So you are the most skilled bender in your family?" Azula asked.

"Yes, but it would be Ting if she would decide to earthbend," Shu said as she looked at her little sister, who had started practicing the form that Azula had shown her.

Shu watched her sister proudly for a few moments before she turned and started to walk away.

"Wow, I can't believe that you stood up to my brother," Shu said with a wide smile on her face, as they walked away. "He had it coming though, he was completely out of line interrupting you and Ting."

They started back towards the village, which was more alive with movement then when they left in the sun's first rays. Azula looked to the center of town, where there was a group of kids practicing what looked to be an earthbending form.

"With most of the adult earthbenders lost to the war, almost all the earthbenders left in our village are children, or those that were children when the attack happened," Shu said sadly as she stared at the children.

"Like you, your brother and your sister?" Azula asked and Shu nodded her head.

"My parents left me to look after them," Shu said before she clinched her fist. "But my brother is filled with rage and my sister refuses to use her gift," she continued as she shook her head. "I failed them."

"You are not responsible for the actions of others," Azula said as she turned and stood in front of Shu. "Worrying over others only opens you up for disappointment."

"And never caring for others assures a life of solitude," Shu countered. "And I would rather be disappointed with my family, with myself than be alone."

"Fine whatever," Azula said as she turned and looked back at the children practicing in the center of the village. "Who is the teacher?"

"That is Lu-Han, the brother of the former leader I told you about," Shu answered before she grabbed Azula by the wrist. "Come, I want you to meet him."

Shu walked quickly towards the practice area and Lu-Han smiled as he saw her approach. He turned his eyes to Azula and a strange look fell over his face. But he removed it quickly and smiled as they stepped into his presence.

"Ah Shu, how are you this fine morning?" Lu-Han asked.

"I am fine," Shu said as she bowed her head.

"That is good," Lu-Han said before he turned to Azula. "And this must be our visitor from the Fire Nation, have you recovered from you injuries?"

"Enough to finally stop spending every moment of the day lying in bed," Azula answered.

"Lu-Han, this is Azumi," Shu introduced them.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Azumi," Lu-Han said as he bowed his head. "Azumi, that is a powerful name, is it a family name?"

"I am named after my grandfather," Azula answered.

"Shu has taken you with her on her morning duties?" Lu-Han asked, and Azula nodded her head. "I trust that everyone was respectful and helpful towards you?" Lu-Han asked.

"Yes, just like one big happy family," Azula said unenthusiastically.

"You do not agree with the philosophy of the village?" Lu-Han asked, and Azula shook her head. "You feel it is flawed?"

"It's just that, I am a citizen of your former enemy, I could still be an enemy, I have no ties to your village," Azula explained but the expression on Lu-Han face did not change. "You have completely accepted me trusting that I will not harm your village, but you do not know me."

"No we don't," Lu-Han agreed. "But if you did harm our village, would that be a flaw in our philosophy, or would it be a flaw in you?"

There was a moment of awkward silence before Shu stepped from behind Azula and flashed the calming smile that rarely left her face.

"This is all a waste of time, I know Azumi would never do anything like that," Shu said as she turned and looked at Azula. "After being in the Fire Nation so long, it will just take some time to get used to our customs."

"Do not worry Shu, Azumi is free to give her opinion," Lu-Han said calmly. "Even in the closest families, everyone does not always agree."

Shu nodded her head in agreement before she looked over at the students.

"How are the children doing?"Shu asked.

"They are learning," Lu-Han answered as he turned and looked at the students. "Though I wish that your sister would join our class."

"She is not ready," Shu said sadly. "I don't know if she ever will be."

"Have faith Shu, things will work out," Lu-Han assured her before he turned and looked at Azula. "So I hear that you are a firebender."

"Yes, but for some reason I am unable to at the moment," Azula responded.

"I heard that when you arrived your injuries were severe, and the cold temperatures of the ocean had lowered your body temperature," Lu-Han said as he stroked his grey beard. "But we should see if there may be something else preventing you from bending."

"Like what," Azula questioned him.

"I will not know until I watch you try and bend," Lu-Han said as he backed away and stood next to Shu. "Go ahead, try to firebend," Lu-Han instructed.

Azula took a deep breath and slid her left foot forward, before she extended her left hand and fell into her stance. She leapt forward and delivered a punch and a kick, but to her dismay there was nothing. She clinched her teeth as she fought back the pain and thrust her hand forward one last time. She let out a loud scream before she fell to her knee and dropped her head.

"AZUMI," Shu yelled as she ran to Azula's side.

Azula had not screamed from the pain, but instead from a feeling of being helpless and powerless. Her mind took her back to day she lost her claim to be Fire Lord, and she felt as helpless and powerless as she did when she was chained to the grate by the waterbender Katara.

"Are you all right?" Shu asked with great concern.

"I am fine Shu," Azula assured her.

"HA!" Chen-Li yelled as he walked towards them, a large grin on his face. "She calls herself a novice, but I don't think that she can firebend at all," he added as he laughed and turned to his friends who egged him on.

"That is enough Chen-Li," Lu-Han turned and scolded him. "But no, she is definitely no novice," he continued before he turned and looked back at Azula.

"So I'm not alone, you don't think she is a firebender either," Chen-Li gloated.

"I said enough," Lu-Han said more sternly. "Do not forget that I was your teacher as well Chen-Li. Has your hatred for the Fire Nation caused you to lose your respect?"

Chen-Li shook his head, and the grin disappeared from his face before he placed his fist in his hand and bowed his head.

"I am sorry Sifu," Chen-Li apologized.

"You are forgiven," Lu-Han said as he bowed as well. "But you must learn to support all who are part of this village."

Shu helped Azula to her feet as Lu-Han turned and looked at them. He stared at Azula for a few moments before he began to stroke his beard with his hand again.

"As for you," he said as he approached Azula and Shu. "You are no mere novice, your strikes and your form are too perfect," he said as he shook his head. "I think that you are an exceptional firebender."

"Then why can't I firebend?" Azula asked angrily.

"Shu, can I ask you a favor?" Lu-Han asked.

"Anything," Shu said as she bowed her head.

"Can you take the students through their exercises, I wish to speak with Azumi," Lu-Han requested.

"Of course Sifu," Shu said before she bowed again.

"Come with me," Lu-Han beckoned before he put his hands behind his back and began to walk away.

Azula didn't know what was going on. She wondered if he now thought her a threat to the village after he discovered she was a skilled firebender.

"Come, I do not bite," Lu-Han turned and said to her.

"Go Azumi, it will be OK, he only wants to help you," Shu urged.

Azula still did not know what to expect. But if it was a way to help her be able to firebend again she was willing to see what he had to say. She walked quickly until she caught up with Lu-Han, and he started down a path that led them into the forest.

"Do you know why I cannot bend?" Azula asked.

"It is a strange thing that your form and strikes are so perfect but yet you cannot firebend anymore," he said as they descended a slope down through the trees.

"I do not understand it, I have done things as I always have, but I cannot firebend," Azula said.

She began to hear the sound of a stream as they continued to make their way through the trees until the came to a small stream that flowed into a large forest lake.

"Perhaps you are too perfect," Lu-Han suggested as he walked to the edge of the lake. "Or perhaps you seek to be too perfect," he added.

"What other way is there to be?" Azula asked as she stood back from the water. "If there is not perfection, there is mediocrity," she continued, which caused Lu-Han to sigh loudly. "And mediocrity makes you weak."

"There is a difference between seeking perfection, and being unwilling to accept anything other than perfection," Lu-Han said as he turned and looked at her. "One allows you to use your desire as strength, and the other makes you a slave to it."

"Are you going to speak to me in riddles?" Azula asked as she shook her head. "I once had an uncle who did that, and it was very annoying."

"No riddles young one," Lu-Han said before he turned and looked back onto the water. "I only seek to tell you that if you think yourself perfect, what room is there to grow?"

"I was perfect, I was a firebending master," Azula insisted.

"No young one, you were not," Lu-Han disagreed. "There is no such thing, it is an illusion."

Azula refused to accept any truth in his words, because if she accepted them as truth, she would have to accept things about her abilities she did not want to.

"It is not an illusion, I was perfect," Azula countered as she pointed to herself. "And do you know why, because I refused to accept anything else."

"And that is why you cannot bend," Lu-Han said sternly as her turned and looked at her.

"What are you talking about?" Azula asked confused.

"Every part of your being is unwilling to accept anything less than perfection," he began to explain. "Deep inside yourself, something has forced you to lose confidence as you face the danger of being imperfect."

She would not say out loud but she could no longer ignore his words. As much as she thought that it would be admitting weakness to admit he was correct, she was too smart to not accept that which could possibly make her stronger.

"If I may ask, what is perfection young one?" Lu-Han asked.

"It's being the best," she said with conviction. "It's winning."

She began to think back once again to the day she was defeated by her brother and the waterbender Katara. She thought how if she had just been able to win the Agni Kai, she would be upon the throne of the Fire Nation and not in an Earth Kingdom village while she recovered from injuries sustained during an escape from a mental asylum. She thought about how she had not been strong enough to keep her friends in line, or too weak to keep her air balloon fueled during a storm.

"I am only here because I was not the best, because I could not win, because I was too weak."

"Is that true, or are those only the excuses you give yourself to rationalize your failures?" He asked as he put his hand on her shoulder. "Bandages may restrict your breath, but deep inside your fear and doubt spawned from past failures have created turmoil within you," he explained calmly. "They have overtaken your desire and you are no longer one with your element."

He turned and walked back to the edge of the lake before he turned and beckoned her.

"Come there is something that I must show you in the water."

"What can I possibly learn from water?" Azula asked without taking a step.

"There are things that you can learn from every element," Lu-Han countered before he waved for her to come again. "Water may be a firebenders weakness, but the truly skilled can turn their weaknesses into their strengths."

Once again Azula decided to put aside her doubt to explore something that could make her more powerful in the future.

"What do you see?"

"Our reflections, what am I supposed to see?" She asked impatiently.

"We must learn to be like water," he said before he paused for a moment. "Because when our minds and emotions are calm, all is clear, just like our reflections are now" he explained.

He paused for another moment before he held out his hand and raised the earth which created ripples through their reflections.

"But when our minds and emotions are in chaos the picture is unclear, and therefore we ourselves are in chaos," he said before he lowered the earth and their reflections became clear again. "You wonder if you will ever attain what you seek, or even if you were meant to."

"It seems that whenever I have it in my hands…"

"Something intervenes to take it away," Lu-Han cut her off, and she nodded her head. "Now at rock bottom, you wonder if it is even meant to be anymore," he continued and Azula nodded her head again. "You have never allowed fear and doubt to enter your being before have you?" He asked.

"No, I always knew that I would achieve what I sought," Azula answered as she shook her head. "And up until now, I always have."

"So now you must not let fear and doubt become things that keep you from what it is you seek, but instead see them as obstacles that will make you stronger once you overcome them," he explained. "If your desire has waned because what you seek seems out of reach, use your desire to overcome your fear and doubt as your fuel."

"I think I understand," Azula said.

Lu-Han nodded his head and walked away from the edge of the lake, before he turned around and sat down in the lotus position.

"Accept your fear and doubt as weaknesses," he instructed forcefully. "Because only by accepting your weaknesses can you make them your strengths, and then let them go from your mind along with everything else."

Azula took a deep breath and settled into her stance before she slid her left foot forward and delivered a forceful kick. She sighed when there still was nothing but still air. She tried again as she struck the air with two solid punches.

"FOCUS!" Lu-Han yelled.

"I am focusing," Azula yelled back in frustration. "Every time I'm about to try I focus on what I must do in order to bend."

"Do not think about what you must do, or the things that may be keeping you from bending. Do not let thoughts of failure present or past cloud your mind," he lectured her. "Do not think, accept, then let go of everything and just bend."

"But…"

"BEND!" Lu-Han yelled emphatically.

In an instance Azula forgot about getting into a perfect stance, she forgot about bracing herself for the pain. She forgot about getting stronger, or even why she sought to become stronger. There was no fear of failure or being less than perfect. Instead she let everything go and in one motion she turned back towards the lake and extended her fist. Blue flames leapt from her fist and flew out over the water, before she delivered a kick and more flames exploded from her foot. She delivered a few more strikes before she turned to the sound of Lu-Han clapping his hands.

"Yes, now you have let go of everything and become one with your element again," he praised her as he continued to applaud. "There are few firebenders who can create blue flames. You are most skilled indeed, just as I believed."

"How do you know so much about firebending?" Azula inquired.

"We were once at war, and any good leader would study their enemy to discover their strengths and weaknesses," Lu-Han answered before he stood to his feet.

"But after all the Fire Nation did to this village, why are you helping me?" Azula asked.

"The war is in the past," he answered. "And like you were told, part of village, part of family."

Azula looked at him strangely because something told her that he was either lying to her, or that there was something he was not telling her. But she couldn't figure out why he would lie to her to help her. So she decided that her ordeal may have clouded her reasoning, and that there was probably nothing there at all.

"I know you have longed to be able to firebend again, so I will leave you to practice," he said before he bowed his head. "If you wish, meet me here tomorrow after your morning duties and I will show you something more," he added before he started back towards the path.

"Wait," Azula blurted.

She wanted to thank him for his help, but how could she? He was of the Earth Kingdom, and a potential future enemy. Would he accept her gratitude if he knew who she was? She could not form the words to thank him, so she only stared at him.

"You are welcome young one," he said with smile.

Azula could not form the words, but she could place her fist in her hand and show respect with a bow of the head.

Azula watched as he bowed his and then disappeared up the slope into the trees. She turned back to the pond and looked at her reflection in the water before she began to execute her favorite firebending form. She still found it hard to accept that her own doubts and fears after her ordeal may have broken her oneness with her element. But she was one with it again, and that's all that mattered.

"_But if I do not have my perfection, what do I have?_" She asked herself.

She no longer had her family, her friends, or the throne of the Fire Nation. If she did not have her superiority and others fear of her, what did she have left? They were questions that she did not seek to answer that day, instead she chose to enjoy the one thing that she always had. She continued on to another firebending form until she realized that she was not alone.

"You can come out, I know you are there," Azula said before she turned from the lake.

"The blue is pretty," Ting said as she stepped out of the shadows of the trees.

"You should be practicing with the other children," Azula said.

Ting dropped her head and her mood became somber. Azula usually would not care about the travails of others. But for some reason when she looked at Ting she saw some of herself when she was a child. She thought about what her life would be like if she had stopped firebending when she was a child.

"Do you want to know something?" Azula asked, and Ting raised her head. "I was a child prodigy just like you, and you owe it to yourself to become great, a master earthbender."

"Why?" Ting asked as she looked up at Azula. "It will not bring my parents back."

"No, but you are not complete unless you use all your power," Azula lectured her. "You could be the greatest earthbender in this village."

"Did you feel different when you could not firebend?"

"Yes, I felt powerless, I felt weak, I felt incomplete," Azula answered.

"Why, you were still yourself?"

Azula did not know how to explain it on a level that a Ting would understand. Azula herself wanted to see just how good Ting was, but she realized that the heavy handed approach would not work. Azula finally came up with the idea of appealing to something else.

"The ability to bend is a gift that not everyone receives," Azula said as genuinely as she could as she looked down on the girl. "You blame earthbending for taking your parents, but without earthbending those who survived would not have been given the time to flee your village."

Azula stared at Ting who remained silent with her eyes to the ground.

"Your brother, your sister, you," Azula said as she readied herself to drive home the final point. "Your parents would want you to use your gift to protect others as they did."

"We don't know what my parents would want, because they're dead," Ting said before she turned away. "If they hadn't been earthbenders they would have escaped with us," she said before she walked away towards the path.

"_That was stupid Azula,_" she thought to herself.

Azula thought that using the memory of Ting's parents would help her see the light, but it seemed the wound was still too deep. One thing she was not skilled at was trying to help others, and she knew that she may had just made things worse.

**Author's Notes: **The conversation about being like water comes from a writing called "Mind Like Water."

Some asked about the ages.

Shu is 17 about to be 18, Chen-Li is 16, and Ting is 9.


End file.
